Why everybody needs a dog

Actual email conversation:

ME: WTF
http://yhoo.it/cHymA0
C: We should all put our dogs to the test and see if they will correctly gnaw off the diseased portions of us when we pass out drunk.
ME: I take no bets on this one…
K: I don't think Kimora would take to this test well. She would prefer to call 911. She's a lady like that.
C: Well Pad and Dexter would have to get to the liver, that could be a challenge.
ME: That’s banking on the fact they would know to eat out:
1. The liver and not something else…say, the heart
2. Only the portion of the liver that is bad
K: Lam, you are giving your livers too much credit. You really think there would be enough to save?
ME: Well the alternative is Dexter eats my liver out, bites out a portion of his own, and surgically transplants it into my body.
K: You have essentially taken a story about a dog eating off a toe of some drunk guy to your own dog performing a dog-to-human liver transplant.
ME: And???